my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
