Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
