he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
