i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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