he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
