The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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