hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
