This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
