..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
