I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
