Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize