Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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