I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
