I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i now understand why vodka
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
