I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
