Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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