It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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