my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
