There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My penis needs a shock collar
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
