have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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