She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
