just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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