So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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