Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
