went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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