Ambien. No doubt about it.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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