Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
