Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
