Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Everclear isn't food dammit
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
