what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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