Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
