remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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