well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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