don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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