they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
sex in a hospital.. check
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
