he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
