I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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