He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My dick has a subreddit
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
