this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize