Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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