Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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