i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
