he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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