Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
