great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
