Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
