cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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