like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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