Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Randomize
