The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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