well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
