i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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