Me. At least after what I've been through.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.