A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
