He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
