I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
