my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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