You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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