called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Your cock deserves a montage
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
