i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
