he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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