omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
