I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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