And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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