chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
