I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I deserve this hangover.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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